I realize I haven’t really blogged about what goes on in my every day life and with how bad today was, I think it’s just what I need to do.
Today was NOT a good day! I didn’t sleep at all last night, it was around 10am when I finally did fall asleep and was back up by 2pm. My sleep schedule is so wonky right now, I have no clue how I’ll ever get it back on track. I tried going with the flow, tried using night time as my time to work on my blogs and then sleeping during the day, but it’s not working out very well…..I’m exhausted no matter what I do. I just want….no I need a normal sleep schedule. I need it more than I need anything else and I do not need to wake up feeling like a zombie. I mean…with 7 kids how the heck could I??
I also don’t do well with getting up and being forced into action and that’s exactly what happened today. I was awake for maybe 30 minutes or so when Hubs announced he was leaving, he had to take David to the hospital….Right. Now. See David has arthritic lyme disease and it’s not getting better. We thought his ped would refer him to an ortho, but instead he had Hubs take him to the ER to have the fluid drained. I should be understanding and under normal circumstances I would have been. But, things are not normal with me right now. I feel quite the same as I did last April when I was on the Zoloft and over the top mixed by mid-May. I fear it….I’ll be honest. Mixed to depressed is the worst feeling in the world.
Anyway…..Hubs left and the house was quiet. The kiddies were playing and I was surfing around the net. That was until my 9 year old came home. She was in one of her MOODS and when she’s in one and I’m in one, things aren’t pretty. We butt heads pretty hard and that’s exactly happened today. No matter what I asked or told her to do, she just wouldn’t do it. If I tried taking her by the hand and making her do it, she’d screech, “Get your hands off of me!” She was over the top out of control tonight. I made dinner, cleaned up and gave the Risperidone to her at 6:30pm in homes to calm her just a bit and it worked. Within a half hour she was a different child, but I was not a different Mommy. I was ready for all the kids to go to bed and I started getting them ready when Hubs called and said they were on their way home. I was thrilled! He had been gone almost 4 1/2 hours…..how the heck am I gonna make it when he goes back to work?
And this is truly what I worry the most about……how in God‘s name am I going to be able to handle taking care of four little kids alone? Summer is coming and soon, it’ll be all 7 home here and likely with nothing to do. Sure, Hubs can get 99 weeks of unemployment, he’s only just hit about 20 weeks now, but that’s not the point. We’re barely surviving now and that’s why I’ve been trying to find a way to make money blogging……Ugh!
Tomorrow’s another day, right? Hopefully it’ll be better!